i couldn't stop thinking about him. for the past few months, i kept thinking about all of the bad things and why i should leave. why i should look for a better life. but, the truth is, i miss him. i needed him. but i knew better than to just flock back to same state i was in.
if we were really meant to be together for the rest of our lives, he needed to find himself. i have to keep reminding myself that i have no control over our situation. if things are to really work out, then he must work on himself to find the things that make him happy -- to figure out if i made him happy. the problem was in fact, that he loved me but he didn't know if i was the one for him and as much as i love him, i can't live the rest of my life knowing that i was a burden he just couldn't let go after fostering for five years.
as much as I want to run back to to you and feel safe in your arms, i can't.